Jerry: Have I got things to tell you!
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am!

Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wendy: Why on earth not?

Disgruntled Cobbler Elf: Lazy bum! Couldn't even make a clog!
Papa Elf: You can bake cookies in a tree. As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season. But the third job, some call it, uh, "the show" or "the big dance," it's the profession that every elf aspires to. And that is to build toys in Santa's workshop.

[threatening Domino with a cigarette and ice cubes] This for heat, these for cold, applied scientifically and slowly.

Emilio Largo

Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.

Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Psychiatrist: Is there someone inside you?
Regan MacNeil: Sometimes.
Psychiatrist: Who is it?
Regan MacNeil: I don't know.
Psychiatrist: Is it Captain Howdy?
Regan MacNeil: I don't know.
Psychiatrist: If I ask him to tell me, will you let him answer?
Regan MacNeil: No.
Psychiatrist: Why not?
Regan MacNeil: I'm afraid.

Some labels are best left in the closet

Carrie Bradshaw

Oh God, please don't let me get killed.

Jessica

I'm gonna send you all to hell!

Steve the Pirate

Alex: You are really good out there.
B. Rabbit: Where? In line at the lunch truck?

Erin Gruwell: The evaluation assignment was to grade yourself on the work you're doing. You gave yourself an F. What's that about?
Andre: It's what I feel I deserve, that's all.
Erin Gruwell: Oh really? You know what this is? This is a Fuck You to me and everyone in this class. I don't want excuses. I know what you're up against. We're all of us up against something. So you better make up your mind, because until you have the balls to look me straight in the eye and tell me this is all you deserve, I am not letting you fail. Even if that means coming to your house every night until you finish the work. I see who you are. Do you understand me? I can see you. And you are not failing.

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