Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment.
Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman. What they could do to make it easier is combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.

President McKenna: What is that?
William Stryker: A jet.
President McKenna: What kind of jet?
William Stryker: We don't know-but it comes out of the basketball court.

Kumar Patel: After all we've been through, I'm not sure we can trust our government anymore.
George W. Bush: Hey, I'm in the government and I don't trust it. Listen, you don't have to trust the government to be a good American. You just have to believe in your country.

Dante Hicks: No. I have to leave early to pick up Caitlin. In which case, you're going to have to lock up the store tonight.
Randal Graves: All right, but you're missing out. Chicks with dicks!

Willy Wonka: Let's put him in the taffy puller!
Mr. Teavee: [horrified] Taffy puller?
Willy Wonka: Hey, that was my idea!

Prime Minister: I'm very jealous of your plane, by the way.
The President: We love that old thing.

Nightcrawler: Please don't kill me, I didn't mean to harm anyone.
Storm: Now why would people have gotten that impression?

The thought of this life, that's what kept me going. I had an idea of our happiness.

Dan Brown

Childs: You're gonna have to sleep sometime, MacReady.
MacReady: I'm a real light sleeper, Childs.

I feel a hate crime coming on.

Banky Edwards

Prince Edward: Once we return to Andalasia, Narissa, I will tell the entire kingdom of what you've done and will overthrow you!
Queen Narissa: Take away my thrown? Edward, aren't you being a little too melodramatic.
Prince Edward: I don't know what "melodramatic" means... but I'll do it.

Max Cherry: Jackie wants to give it to you herself, she wants to collect her ten percent. She also wants to explain why she had to hang on to it.
Ordell Robbie: Oh, and I want to hear that shit!

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