That's because they hate us. The whole world, the whole world hates us!

John Smith

Alice: What's your work?
Dan: I'm sort of... journalist.
Alice: What sort?
Dan: I write obituaries.

[to Chiyo] Do you like sweet plum or cherry?


Not so fast, there, Kaputnik.

Eddie Dane

[thinking Marty is an alien]
Sherman Peabody: It's already mutated into human form. Shoot it!
Old Man Peabody: [firing shotgun at barn] Take that, you mutated son of a bitch!

Austin: Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
Basil: I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself.

Leonard Shelby: Hi. Uh, Lincoln Street?
Waiter: Oh, you just take the main road...
Leonard Shelby: Hang on, let me write this down.
Waiter: Oh, it's easy. You just...
Leonard Shelby: Trust me, I need to write this down.

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.


[upon first seeing Cristina] Flor! Look at this child! You could make a fortune doing surrogate pregnancy!

Deborah Clasky

It's okay, Eleanor. It can be fixed.


Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad.

Delmar O'Donnell

And for Margo? I heard someone say she was in the resurrection of a play on Broadway. I heard another person say She was giving surfing lessons off the coast of the Bahamas. But I stopped listening to those stories. Because whatever Margo is doing, wherever she is now, I'm sure it's something special. But hey... That's her story to tell.

Quentin Jacobsen

FREE Movie Newsletter