Randal Graves: Listen to you, you're so repressed.
Dante Hicks: What? Because I never tried to suck my own dick?

Reid Garwin: 'Sup fellas?
Tyler Sims: Where were you? I stopped by to give you a lift.
Reid Garwin: Had things to do. How's the party?
Pogue Parry: Don't know. Just got here.
Reid Garwin: Well, hell, boys.

Audrey: Where were you?
Fletcher: Having sex.
Audrey: Well, I hope it was with someone *very* special!

Sarah: You know you never told us your name.
John Rambo: John.
Sarah: Where are you from?
John Rambo: Mohave, Arizona.
Sarah: Why'd you leave?
John Rambo: I got drafted in Nam.
Sarah: And you just stayed?
John Rambo: It's complicated.
Sarah: You have family back home?
John Rambo: Father, maybe. I don't know.
Sarah: Aren't you curious to see how things might've changed back home?
John Rambo: Gotta have a reason for that.

Ha-Ha! Man that's what I call a swinging party.

Baloo

Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.

Newscaster

Father Brian Finn: I keep thinking about what you said in seminary, that the life of a priest is hard and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else you should do that.
Father Havel: That was my recruitment pitch, which is not bad when you're starting out because it makes you feel like a marine. The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again.

God... let this be it.

Jim

Salieri: Mozart, it was good of you to come!
Mozart: How could I not?
Salieri: How... Did my work please you?
Mozart: I never knew that music like that was possible!
Salieri: You flatter me.
Mozart: No, no! One hears such sounds, and what can one say but... "Salieri."

Tripp: [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears] Well, hey, Ace. We thought you gave up and went home.
Ace: [dropping to the ground, exhausted] No. I fell into a deep, dark crevice. It was scary.

Bartender: Emmett! What can I get you? The usual?
Doc: No, Chester, I'm gonna need something a lot stronger than that tonight.
Bartender: Sarsaparilla?
Doc: Whiskey, Chester.

[Beatrice has run away from home, and revealed herself hiding under Roy's bed]
Roy Eberhardt: How long have you been here?
Beatrice Leep: Oh, don't worry. I kept my eyes closed while you put on your very colorful jammies.

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