Doc: The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!

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Quentin Hapsburg: Any final requests, Lieutenant?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Er, yes... Can I have the gun?
Quentin Hapsburg: Ohh no! I'm not going to fall for that one!

Well done Mr. Enslin, well done.

Gerald Olin

Can you feel it Mr. Anderson? Closing in on you? Oh I can, I really should thank you after all. It was, after all, it was your life that taught me the purpose of all life. The purpose of life is to end.

Agent Smith

Christopher: Knock knock.
Christopher Gardner: Who's there?
Christopher: Shelby.
Christopher Gardner: Shelby who?
Christopher: Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes!
Christopher Gardner: Hey, that's good.

Ronald Fleury: Which side do you think Allah's on?
Colonel Faris Al Ghazi: We are about to find out!

Cher: Daddy, this is my friend, Tai.
Mel: [to Tai] Get the hell outta my chair!

James Canter: The first time I heard you sing... I thought that it must be what angels sound like. Thought I died and gone to heaven.
Kelly Canter: I love that story.
James Canter: 'Cause it's true.

Kumar: [in surgery] Hang on a second, nurse. What we should probably use is marijuana. That'll sufficiently sedate the patient for surgery.
Male Nurse: Marijuana?... But why?
Kumar: We don't have time for questions. We need marijuana now, as much of it as possible! Like a big bag of it.

Say car Ram-Rod.

Farva

Cameron: It's about time you realize what it's like to be black.
Christine: Oh, and you're talking about being black? The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.
Cameron: Well, at least I didn't watch it with the rest of the equestrian team.

[addressing players] Let me put it to you as clean as I can. We have 95 players here so accomplished as athletes in high school, we gave them scholarships to the finest football program in the land. NCAA regulations allow us to dress just 60 for home games. That means 35 scholarship players will be watching the games from the stands. Now, if any of you has any dreams of one day running out of that tunnel with your gold helmet shining in the sun, you'd best leave them right here. Of you 15 dreamers out there, maybe we'll keep one or two. My job is to basically beat the shit out of you for the next five days. Our first teams are gonna pound on you like you're their worst enemies. Your greatest value to us is that we don't care if you get hurt. Like what you hear so far? Anybody want to run home to Mama? Joe, they're all yours.

Coach Warren

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