Well, you've done your job, so I don't suppose I can kill your wife Zenat. Although frankly I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.


Grace: Oh, God.
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.

Jesse James: Go back to bed.
Robert Ford: I got to use the privy.
Jesse James: You think you do, but you don't.

Harold: So what are you in here for?
Tarik: For being black.
Harold: Seriously.
Tarik: I am serious. You wanna know what happened. I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a black guy robbed a storein Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
Harold: Holy shit! What'd you do?
Tarik: I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."
Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: But I can shape it, I can shift it, I can make it as real as this room. That's why i'm valuable here Ivy and that is why you are not.
Sir Ivy: I ain't valuable?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: I am sorry, I love you, I never wanted it to be like this, you know that.

If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!

Barry the Baptist

Simon: [On phone] Is there a detective named McClane there?.
Inspector Cobb: He's on suspension.
Simon: No Walter, he's not. Not today.
Inspector Cobb: Who is this?
Simon: Call me Simon.
Inspector Cobb: What do you want?
Simon: I want to play a game.
Inspector Cobb: What kind of game?
Simon: Simon Says.

Choice, the problem is choice.


Scott Evil: [to Dr. Evil] I hate you.
Scott Evil: [to Austin] I hate you.
Scott Evil: [to Foxxy] I don't even know you, but I hate you too.
Scott Evil: [to Mini-Me] And I ESPECIALLY hate you. [runs away]
Dr. Evil: I'd just like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl.

I pardon you.

Amon Goeth

Indiana: Balloq's medallion only had writing on one side? You sure about that?
Sallah: Positive!
Indiana: Balloq's staff is too long.
Indiana, Sallah: They're digging in the wrong place!

Miriam: [hesitating as they leave the Valley of the Lepers] I'm afraid.
Esther: [embracing her] No cause. The world is more than we know.

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