[addressing players] Let me put it to you as clean as I can. We have 95 players here so accomplished as athletes in high school, we gave them scholarships to the finest football program in the land. NCAA regulations allow us to dress just 60 for home games. That means 35 scholarship players will be watching the games from the stands. Now, if any of you has any dreams of one day running out of that tunnel with your gold helmet shining in the sun, you'd best leave them right here. Of you 15 dreamers out there, maybe we'll keep one or two. My job is to basically beat the shit out of you for the next five days. Our first teams are gonna pound on you like you're their worst enemies. Your greatest value to us is that we don't care if you get hurt. Like what you hear so far? Anybody want to run home to Mama? Joe, they're all yours.

Coach Warren

Rosalie Octavius: You need to sleep soundly tonight.
Dr. Otto Octavius: Did Edison sleep before he turned on the light bulb? Did Marconi sleep before he turned on the radio? Did Beethoven sleep before he wrote the fifth?
Peter Parker: Did Bernoulli sleep before he found the curves of quickest descent?
Dr. Otto Octavius: Ahhh, Rosie, I love this boy.

Okay. You're about to learn who you're gonna call... Ghostbusters

Columbus

Don Billingsley: If I have anything to say about it tonight you're going to get drunk and you're going to get laid.
Mike Winchell: I'm not going out drunk and foolin'.

Police Chief Grady: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
Farva: It's powdered sugar.
Police Chief Grady: The lice hate the sugar.
Farva: [deadpanning] It's delicious.

Chaucer: I'm a writer.
Wat: A what?
Chaucer: A wha- a what? A writer. I write, with parchment, and ink. Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game. You've read my book? the Book of the Duchess? No? Well, it was allegorical.
Roland: Well, we won't hold that against you, that's for every man to decide for himself.

Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

What would you do? What would any of you be willing to do? Would you brave the weird and haunted shores at world's end to fetch back wit' ye Jack?

Tia Dalma

I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce.

Martin

Alice: Want a smoke?
Larry: No. Yes. No. Fuck it, yes!
Larry: [takes the pack] No. I quit.

Why do people have to love people anyway?

Fran Kubelik

We'll be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway. [laughs]

Bob Porter

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