Jack: You got so much of your mother in you, you know that?
Nim Rusoe: That's a good thing, right?
Jack: Yeah, good. Sure. Unfortunately I could never win a fight with her, either.

Linda Litzke: I'm really looking for a guy with a sense of humor.
Chad Feldheimer: That guy, wait, that guy wasn't bad.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: No before.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: Umm, he might not be a loser...
Linda Litzke: How can you tell?
Chad Feldheimer: That's a Brioni suit.
Linda Litzke: Yeah?
Chad Feldheimer: Shit yeah!
Linda Litzke: Does he look like he would have a sense of humor?
Chad Feldheimer: Looks like his optometrist has a sense of humor.

We'll get on a merry-go-round and never get off. Promise me we'll never get off.

Ellie Andrews

Wow, If he's here, who's running hell?

Van Wilder

They won't leave me alone! I'm a goddamn human piñata!


This is Paris, and I'm an American who lives here. My name is Jerry Mulligan, and I'm an ex G.I. In 1945 when the army told me to find my own job, I stayed on. And I'll tell you why

Jerry Mulligan

Craig, I don't find you attractive, but Lotte, I'm smitten with you. I am... but only when you're in Malkovich. When I was with him last night, I was looking into his eyes and could sense your feminine longing.


When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.

Fran Kubelik

Don't you think it's ironic that Rebecca Bloomwood is advising people on how to handle money.


Annie: I'm the most screwed-up person in the world!
Sarah: You're not even the most screwed-up person in this room!

Remember who the real enemy is.

Haymitch Abernathy

With meditation, there's no limit to what you can... Imagine.

John Lennon

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