Thank you Clitoris!

Stan

Annie Kinsella: [trying to understand the situation] I mean, Shoeless Joe...
Ray Kinsella: He's dead. Died in '51; he's dead.
Annie Kinsella: He's the one they suspended, right?
Ray Kinsella: Right.
Annie Kinsella: He's still dead?
Ray Kinsella: Far as I know.

Old Mrs. Kendleman twisted her ankle, as she puts it, diving for her life when a bunch of school kids rode down the sidewalk on skateboards. She went down to Thornton's store this morning and started spitting on the new skateboards. Spitting! By the time I got there, Mrs. Kendlemen had sprayed the whole damn place. And she must have had a cold or something. I'm telling you, I won't eat for a week. So, what happened to your crops?

Caroline

Cop663: [to new bar of soap] You mustn't let yourself go. You've gained weight so fast. She may have gone but life goes on. You must stop indulging yourself.
Cop663: [to new towel] You're a real disappointment to me. You've changed so much. You can't just switch personality like this. Her walking out is no excuse.
Cop663: [as it drips] It was such a relief when I saw it crying. It may look different, but it's still true to itself. It's still an emotionally charged towel.

Being half human makes you stronger than a god.

Zeus

Sorry Romeo, but you gotta die.

Mac

Samantha: How do you share your life with somebody?
Theodore: Well, we grew up together and I used to read all of her writing and her Masters and PhD. She read every word I ever wrote. We were a big influence on each other.
Samantha: In what way did you influence her?
Theodore: She came from a background where nothing was ever good enough. And I assumed that weighed heavy on her. But in our house together, it was a sense of just trying stuff and allowing each other to fail and to be excited about things. That was liberating for her. It was exciting to see her grow and both of us grow and change together. But that's also the hard part
Samantha: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!

You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.

Elliot

[upon being asked his name] Django. The D is silent.

Django

Dan: I hate that I'm hurting you.
Alice: Then why are you?

Brody: [Drunk] I'm tellin' ya, the crime rate in New York'll kill you. There's so many problems, you never feel like you're accomplishing anything. Violence, rip-offs, muggings... kids can't leave the house - you gotta walk them to school. But in Amity one man can make a difference. In twenty-five years, there's never been a shooting or a murder in this town.
Hooper: Fascinating. Want a pretzel?
Brody: Where are we?

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