Torrance Shipman: Do you know what this means? My entire cheerleading career has been a lie.
Missy: Well, look on the bright side - It's only cheerleading!
Torrance Shipman: I *am* only cheerleading.

You know, some people take things for granted, like the ability to chew solid food.

Robert

Roz Focker: Yeah, and now it's up to 50 Fockers.
Jack Byrnes: 50 Fockers. What could be better?

The truth, Helen, is always the right answer.

Amon Goeth

Young Dr. Evil: Would it kill you to put on some clothes? Honestly it's like living with frickin Sasquatch.
Young Austin Powers: Hey, have you seen my Balzac?
Young Dr. Evil: I'm looking at your Balzac right now.

...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?

Lt. Frank Drebin

Tom Stall: In this family, we do not solve problems by hitting people!
Jack Stall: No, in this family, we shoot them!

This not as is to see as seeing is to not having seen anything at all.

Zeus

Sue: [re: NHL Hockey game] This is bullshit, such bullshit!
Mike: The Kings suck in this game, you should play another team.
Sue: I took the Kings to the cup.
Trent: Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.
Sue: They are a finesse team.
Trent: L.A. is a fucking bitch team!

Sway: What do you think is more exciting, having sex or boosting cars?
Memphis: Having sex or boosting cars... Um, ooh! Uh. How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?

Mayor Kate Hennings: [smacks mosquito] One down, a six million to go.
Earl Smooter: Careful, you just killed the state bird of Alabama!

Hold up your badge, so they'll know you're a policeman.

Dudley Smith

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