Jimmy Smith Jr: I don't give a fuck, man. I'm sick of you always thinking to know what's best for me, dog. You ain't my fucking father. I'm a grown man.
Future: Look, Jimmy...
Jimmy Smith Jr: Look, Jimmy, nothing. Fuck you. I told you not to fucking sign me up.
Future: What the fuck, you wanna fight me now, huh?
Jimmy Smith Jr: You ain't the future of shit, bitch. You're just David fuckin' Porter.
Future: You know what? Do what the fuck you wanna do, 'cause I don't give a shit anymore. I really fuckin' don't.

Miles Raymond: Did you read the latest draft, by the way?
Jack: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Miles Raymond: And?
Jack: It's great. I mean there are so many improvements. It's much tighter, just seems... I don't know, more congealed or something.
Miles Raymond: Mm-hmm. What about the new ending? Did you like that?
Jack: Oh, yeah. New ending vastly superior to the old ending.
Miles Raymond: There is no new ending. Page 750 on is exactly the same.
Jack: [pause] Well... maybe it just seemed new because everything leading up to it was so different?
Miles Raymond: [sarcastically] Yeah, that must be it!

Sybil Stone: He's gonna ask me for that ring...
Susannah Stone: Mom, *enough* about the ring.

Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey.

Queen Amidala: How did you end up here with us?
Jar Jar Binks: I don't know. Mesa day startin pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM! Gettin very scared and grabbin that Jedi and POW! Mesa here! Mesa gettin' very very scared!

Matt, stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it. Do you know what kind of person I am now, I mean - do you know who I am right now? I don't have any real friends. I did something bad with a married guy. I don't talk to my mom and dad. I'm not a nice person. And the thing is - I'm not 13 anymore.

Jenna

[to Earl] Who died and made you Einstein?

Valentine McKee

You let her go, you fuckin' asshole, or I'm gon' splatter your ugly face all over this nice car!

Louise Sawyer

We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!

Valentine McKee

Hello, ma'am. Your daughter, she's done a great injustice, so we've come here seeking revenge. You see, we may not look like much, but between the three of us we have five legs, four eyes and two and a half pairs of working lungs, but we also have two dozen eggs, so if I were you, I would go back inside.

Augustus Waters

Jason Nesmith: You WILL go out there.
Sir Alexander Dane: I won't and nothing you say will make me.
Jason Nesmith: The show must go on.
Sir Alexander Dane: ...Damn you.

This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.

Marcus Burnett

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