Italian Reporter: [after the Pope's ring has been stolen] Mr. Pepperidge, was the Dream Team asleep when the theft occurred?
Pepperidge: No comment.
Italian Reporter: Do you think they will recover the ring?
Pepperidge: If I give a comment, when I said 'no comment.' I would look like a complete ass, wouldn't I?

William Parrish: You're at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong woman!
Joe Black: Are you threatening me?
William Parrish: Yeah, I certainly hope so.

[Huggy is trying to convince Hutch to forgive Starsky]
Huggy Bear: Dig this man. Someone once said: "To err is human, to forgive divine."
Hutch: Tch. What idiot said that?
Huggy Bear: I believe that was God - the greatest mack of all.

Never again will I allow political self-interest to deter us from doing what we know to be morally right. Atrocity and terror are not political weapons. And to those who would use them, your day is over. We will never negotiate. We will no longer tolerate and we will no longer be afraid. It's your turn to be afraid.

President James Marshall

Pee-wee: Life can be so unfair.
Mickey: You telling ME?

You can cross that one off your bucket list.

Mrs. Stainer

Tristan: [dazed just after returning to human form] Victoria!
Yvaine: I think I preferred "Mother."

Johnny Stompanato: You want an autograph? Write to MGM.
Ed Exley: Since when do two-bit hoods and hookers give out autographs?
Johnny Stompanato: What'd you say to me?
Ed Exley: LAPD. Sit down.
Lana Turner: Who in the hell do you think you are?
Jack Vincennes: Ed...
Ed Exley: Take a walk, honey, before I haul your ass downtown.
Johnny Stompanato: You are making a large mistake.
Lana Turner: Get away from our table.
Ed Exley: Shut up! A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.
Johnny Stompanato: Hey!
Ed Exley: She just looks like Lana Turner.
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
Ed Exley: What?
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.

It's just an anonymous room. There's nothing in the drawers. But you look anyway. Nothing except the Gideon bible, which I, of course, read religiously.

Leonard Shelby

J.M. Barrie: It seems to me that Peter's trying to grow up too fast. I imagine he thinks that grown-ups don't hurt as deeply as children do when they... when they lose someone. I lost my older brother David when I was just Peter's age, and it nearly destroyed my mother.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: James, I'm so sorry. Your poor mother. I can't imagine losing a child.
J.M. Barrie: She didn't get out of bed for months, she wouldn't eat. I tried everything to make her happy but she only wanted David. So one day I dressed myself in David's clothing and I went to her.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: You must have frightened her to death.
J.M. Barrie: I think it was the first time she ever actually looked at me, and that was the end of the boy James. I used to say to myself he'd gone to Neverland.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: Where?
J.M. Barrie: Neverland. It's a wonderful place... I've not spoken about this before to anyone- ever.
Sylvia Llewelyn Davies: What's it like, Neverland?
J.M. Barrie: One day I'll take you there.

Brody: What day is this?
Hooper: It's Wednesday... eh, it's Tuesday, I think.
Brody: Think the tide's with us?
Hooper: Keep kicking.
Brody: I used to hate the water...
Hooper: I can't imagine why.

I would stay asleep my whole life, if I could dream myself into a company of players.

Viola de Lesseps

FREE Movie Newsletter