[giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O'Houlihan

Sam Eagle: CIA!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Interpol!
Sam Eagle: This is my travel badge, here's my real badge!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: You must have been looking at the wrong badge!
Sam Eagle: You were saying?

Charlie: Good morning, angels.
Dylan, Natalie, Alex: Good morning, Charlie!

Leonardo: Donnie, what are the odds of surviving this?
Donatello: 0.00003%!

Aubrey: This time I'm not gonna choke it down!
Stacie: Been there before...

Oh come on. Stop beatin' it. Get out there yourself. Stop feedin' off me. Get out of here. I can't breathe. Give me some air.


We've done some pretty fucked up shit in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that?


Butch Cassidy: Kid, there's something I ought to tell you... I never shot anybody before.
Sundance Kid: One hell of a time to tell me.

I've heard people say you don't get high the first time you smoke. Not me. No-o, not us. WE were really, REALLY high. We was to' up!

Thurgood Jenkins

He'll light the fuse on any explosive situation, and be a danger to himself and others.

Miranda Frost

"Now I'm going to have our three whistlers... uh... please to present the next... um, the... um... musical... there were three... musical sections here, and this'll be the third... the third section... um... and they'll play a piece... it's very recognizable, it's... Chopin, actually... it's taken... it's, it's in the style of "March Militaire", which is a very... recognizable piece, so... if you please, just... listen to this, and I'm sure you can identify the... um, I'm sort of giving away the answer here, but that's... it's... Chopin... I don't mean to give away the answer... it's... please, just... you know... sing us a ditty, guys... a Chopin ditty."

Jimmy Gator

They did not take me in the Army. I was, um, interestingly enough, I was, I was 4-P. Yes. In the, in the event of war, I'm a hostage.

Alvy Singer

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