Chiles Stanton: Oh, hi Beau.
Beau Hutton: It would have been easier to wish me luck.
Chiles Stanton: I'm on board. I'm playing three songs tonight.
Beau Hutton: Says who?
Chiles Stanton: I happen to be in consideration as the new opening act for Miss Kelly Canter. James, my new manager, booked me this gig as a rehearsal... not that I need it.
Beau Hutton: Clint, tell me Garth Brooks here is not opening for me.
Clint: She's not, she's closing for you. Can't do nothing about it either.
Beau Hutton: This is your place, you can tell her no.
Clint: Not for James Canter, I can't.
Beau Hutton: You're gonna let this prom queen get up on stage? For Christ's, sake, Patsy Cline sang here.
Clint: I don't care, she's still gonna play. I'm not cutting your set, Beau, you got the same three songs.
Chiles Stanton: Don't worry, Beau. I have no intention of stealing your invisible career. See, I want one.

Mike: Hi.
Lorraine: Hi.
Mike: I'm Mike.
Lorraine: Hi Mike, I'm Lorraine.
Mike: Like the quiche.
Lorraine: Like the quiche? That's a really original joke.
Mike: I like quiche.
Lorraine: I thought real men didn't like quiche?
Mike: Well, it seems my reputation had preceded me here.
Lorraine: You not a real man?
Mike: Not lately.

Parole Board Member #1: Mr. Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?
Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.
Parole Board Member #2: Mr. Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.
Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?
Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.

Claudia Wilson Gator: I wanted to do that.
Jim Kurring: Well...
Claudia Wilson Gator: That felt good to do - to do what I wanted to do.

What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than - than - than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!

Lina Lamont

Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
Data: Why?
Mikey: Why?
Stef: Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

Rosemary Woodhouse: Oh, God!
Roman Castevet: God is dead! Satan lives!

Murray: What are you doing Derek? This is your family.
Derek Vinyard: Right, my family. My family so you know what? I don't give two shits about you or anybody else or what you think. You're not a part of it and you never will be.

Logan: There's someone here.
Cyclops: Where?
Logan: I don't know. Keep your eye open.

What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Cedric

Mike: What the hell was that?
Steve: A chunk in the road or something.
Mike: I just chunked in my pants.

I'm gettin' ready to launch a little thing called operation sweep her off her feet.

Roy

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