Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
David: What?
Shaun: The jukebox!

Bobby Jordan: [Pushing Jack into the lockers] Make me laugh, asshole.
Judy Danvers: Jack, come on, he's an asshole.
Bobby Jordan: Shut the fuck up skank.
Jack Stall: [Jack kicks Bobby's buddy in the groin and moves to Bobby] Come her you fuck!
[Jack punches Bobby and brings him to the ground]
Jack Stall: You cocksucking motherfucker!

Bartleby: You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years eight times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.
Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less!

You have shown me a live I could only dream about back home by masturbating in my father's woodshed.

Taj

Princess Vespa: So, where are you from?
Lone Starr: Who knows?
Princess Vespa: You don't know where you're from?
Lone Starr: Not really. I was left on the doorstep of a monastery.
Princess Vespa: A monastery? Where?
Lone Starr: Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.

Kit: You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.
Ace: I'll give you a Canadian Goose.

Jason Nesmith: You WILL go out there.
Sir Alexander Dane: I won't and nothing you say will make me.
Jason Nesmith: The show must go on.
Sir Alexander Dane: ...Damn you.

What are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch.

Jodi

Elle: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house!

You married your *cousin*?

Andrew

Dirk: I can't. I just can't get it hard. I just can't. I'm sorry.
Surfer: You shouldn't do this sorta thing, faggot.

The castle beckons, I think Tom.

Gareth

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