Tucker: Really? Where would I have seen your work?
Pat Healy: Well, have you been to, uh well, let me see... Santiago, Chile?
Tucker: Twice last year. Which building's yours?
Pat Healy: Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
Tucker: Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?
Pat Healy: No, just down the street the Celinto Catayente Towers. It's quite a fine example, in fact. I recommend that next time you're up that way that you drop in and take a gander at it yourself.
Jack: Speak for yourself. I get chicks lookin' at me all the time. All ages. Dudes too.
Miles Raymond: Well, it's not worth it. You pay too big a price. It's never free.
Jack: You need to get laid, Miles. You know what? That's going to be my best man gift to you this week. I'm gonna get you laid.
Miles Raymond: Wonderful.
Jack: I'm not gonna get you a gift certificate or a pen knife or any of that other horse shit.
Miles Raymond: I'd rather have a knife.
Father Brian Finn: I keep thinking about what you said in seminary, that the life of a priest is hard and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else you should do that.
Father Havel: That was my recruitment pitch, which is not bad when you're starting out because it makes you feel like a marine. The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again.
Keith Frazier: Last time I had my johnson pulled this good it cost me five bucks.
Captain John Darius: Five bucks?
Keith Frazier: It was Tiajuana. Don't ask.
Helena Ayala: Who was on the phone?
Carlos Ayala: Oh that was Arnie. He won't be able to make it to the barbeque.
It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.George Downes
Lewis Rothschild: At least let the agents do a security sweep - we don't know who's in there!
President Andrew Shepherd: You think there a florist in there planing an assassination on the the off-chance that I might be stopping by?
Lewis Rothschild: It's possible.
Well, Joel, you've done a lot of solid work here, but it's just not Ivy League, now is it?Rutherford
Everything Is Awesome!Emmet [singing]
You don't understand that this isn't a story to me, it's my life! I want to live!Harold Crick
Everything you have, you lose, right? Mother, father - gone. Good looks, Pryzwarra? - gone. Loved ones gone in a second. That's what this job teaches you, isn't it? No matter what, no matter how hard you grab onto something - you still lose it, right?Doug Carlin
Dr. Buddy Rydell: In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three or four men to share a bed.
Dave Buznik: That's why I'm proud to be an American.