Flattery won't charge these batteries.

Sergeant Calhoun

Some men get the world. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona.

Lynn Bracken

Once again, the L.A.P.D. is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.

Video Newscaster

Good God...I'm on Mars.

John Carter

Melissa: You really love animals, don't you?
Ace Ventura: If it gets cold enough.

Bring... bring it home? All right, let's bring it home. If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. Huh? One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio all day, about your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or... would you sing somethin' different. Somethin' real. Somethin' *you* felt. Cause I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear. That's the kind of song that truly saves people. It ain't got nothin to do with believin' in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believin' in yourself.

Sam Phillips

Alonzo Harris: Hey, first Damu puts one in his head... I'll make you a rich man.
Bone: You got us twisted, homey. You got to put your own work in around here.
Alonzo Harris: All right, it's like that, Bone ?
Bone: It's like that.

I have to believe that when things are bad I can change them.

Jim Braddock

Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Kelly

Lucy: I won't read the word!
Sam: I'm your father and I'm telling you to read the word. Cause I can tell you to because I'm your father.
Lucy: I'm stupid.
Sam: You are not stupid!
Lucy: Yes, I am.
Sam: No, you are not stupid 'cause you can read that word.
Lucy: I don't wanna read it if you can't.
Sam: No, because it makes me happy! It makes me happy hearing you read. Yeah, it makes me happy when you're reading.
Lucy: [Lucy reads again]

Stinky Pete the Prospector: How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think Andy is going to take you to college, or on his honeymoon? Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. You'll be adored by children for generations.
Woody: [pets Bullseye the Horse, then suddenly decides to stay] Who am I to break up the Roundup Gang?

Dr. Bartram: Was it worth it? Breaking a tradition just to win a football game?
David Green: Your tradition or mine, sir?

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