Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?

Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Fletcher: Noooo!

Toshi: But, Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra.
Dupree: First, call me Dupree. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter.

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

All I'm saying is, when we split the cheque three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man.

The Blue Raja

Joel Goodson: Some of the girls are wearing my mother's clothing.
Lana: What's wrong with that?
Joel Goodson: I just don't want to spend the rest of my life in analysis.

Les Grossman: What you gotta do is pull down their pants and spank their ass, you spank it.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: You spank that ass Les!

Father Brian Finn: You must think I'm such an idiot!
Anna Riley: No, Brian!
Father Brian Finn: No, no no, I think I'm an idiot!

Lori: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married!
Douglas Quaid: Consider that a divorce!

Benji Dunn: Let me guess. Presumed dead?
Ethan Hunt: Well tonight, I just made it official.

Come on Stevie, time to leavey, It's the fun bus man!

Chip Douglas

This is what I do; if some idiot with a sledgehammer could break in do you really think I'd still have a job?


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