[sees Razor after 30 years] I hope I don't look like that big of an ass...

Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen

James: Today is your training day. You got one day and one day only to show me what you got.
Ben: Bring it on.

Mother Sister: Hey, you old drunk, what did I tell you about drinking in front of my stoop? Move on; you're blocking my view. You are ugly enough; don't stare at me. The evil eye doesn't work on me.
Da Mayor: Mother Sister, you've been talkin' about me for 18 years. What have I ever done to you?
Mother Sister: You a drunk fool.
Da Mayor: Besides that? Da Mayor don't bother nobody and nobody no bother da Mayor but you. The Man just tends to his own business. I love everybody; I even love you.
Mother Sister: Hold your tongue: you don't have that much love.
Da Mayor: One day you're gonna be nice to me. We may both be dead and buried, but you're gonna be nice - at least civil.

It's alright, gentlemen. I'm familiar with these two young ladies. Well, not "familiar", familiar, obviously.

Henry Kissinger

Four turtles, one's fighting a robot samurai. Why not?

Vernon Fenwick

Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

Call me an asshole one more time.

Hancock

Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?

Ray

Howard Hughes: No, wait! Honey, you can't move! You can't move, you're safe here! You're in the germ-free zone now, y'understand?
Ava Gardner: I'll take my chances.
Howard Hughes: No, no! Honey, wait... wait, uh...
[Ava removes the string barriers from the doorway and walks into the study. She turns on the light, revealing that entire room is covered with used tissues and string barriers everywhere. Silence for a moment]
Ava Gardner: Love what you've done with the place...

[Ronny is on the trees trying to take pictures of Geneva]
[Phone rings with Nick calling]
Nick: Hi Ronny, where are you.
Ronny: I am doing all kinds of different kinds of different things.

What is it about treasure that makes history so fascinating?

Patrick Gates

Officer Mount: I don't believe it. It's that shit box Dodge again!
Trooper Daniel: Those bastards are ours now!

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