Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.

Y'know, they're hookers. So it's fine.


From here you can get an excellent view of my foot.

Pai Mei

Every second we stand here is a second lost!

Colonel Mertz von Quirnheim

Badger: In summation, I think you just got to not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cussing point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Badger: You're not gonna cuss with me!
[Both start snarling at each other, and then settle down]
Mr. Fox: Just buy the tree.
Badger: Okay.

Billy Costigan: Listen, listen. I got like, like thirty thousand bucks, right? Insurance money. You know, after my mother passed and everything?
Cousin Sean: Yeah, yeah.
Billy Costigan: In your line of work, if I gave you like what, ten thousand, what could I get back?
Cousin Sean: You know... you know what you usually say at these moments?
Billy Costigan: What? What?
Cousin Sean: C'mon, man.
Billy Costigan: Aw, come on, you fucking moron. Come on. What, you want me to say it? Huh? I'm not a cop, alright? I'm your fucking cousin.
Cousin Sean: Yeah, you're bad! You corrupt fuck, man! You must be my cousin.

Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?


Minion: [at a monitor] Death ray readying!
[a solar-powered laser starts to activate]
Megamind: Let's see if Metro Man can withstand the full concentrated power of the sun! FIRE!
[nothing happens]
Megamind: [to Minion] Fire!
Minion: [at monitor] Still warming up, sir.
Megamind: Warming up? The sun is WARMING UP?

Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends.

Penny Lane

I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.

Tony Stark

He is intelligent, but not experienced. His pattern indicates two-dimensional thinking.


Olive: Why were you unhappy?
Frank: I fell in love with someone...
Grandpa [blows nose loudly]
Frank: ... who didn't love me back.
Olive: Who?
Frank: One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
Olive: Him? You fell in love with a boy?
Frank: Very much so.
Olive: That's silly.
Grandpa: There's another word for it...

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