Dark Helmet: What did you do? You turned it off!
Colonel Sandurz: Turned off what? I just turned off the screen.
Dark Helmet: No, you didnt! You turned off the movie!

[adjusting the collar of Guido's suit] You're a world class liar, darling. Go out there and lie for Italy. Lie for Italia.

Liliane La Fleur

Fucking dog. Fucking coach. Fucking Americans.

Paul

Erin Gruwell: But to get respect you have to give it.
Andre: Bullshit.
Erin Gruwell: What?
Andre: Why should I give you my respect? Because you call your a teacher. How do I know that your not a bad person standing up there?
Eva: White people wanting their respect like its for free.

Drillbit Taylor: What do you teach?
English Teacher: English.
Drillbit Taylor: My native tongue.

Trixie: Was that a ninja?
Pops Racer: More like a "non"-ja.

[during a fight scene with a bunch of Chinese men]
James Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!
Lee: Carter!
James Carter: All y'all look alike!


Isis: Every time we get some, here y'all come trying to steal it, putting some blonde hair on it and calling it something different. We've had the best squad around for years, but no one's been able to see what we can do. But you better believe, all that's gonna change this year. I'm captain, and I guarantee you we'll make it to Nationals. So just hand over the tape you made tonight, we'll call it even for now.
Torrance Shipman: We don't have any tape.
Missy: Really. We just came to see the show.
Jenelope: What? Come on, Isis! Let me do this!
Isis: You know what? Let's go.
Jenelope: Wait a minute. So that's it? We're just gonna let them go?
Isis: Yeah. Because unlike them, we have class.
Torrance Shipman: I swear I had no idea.
Isis: Well, now you do.
Jenelope: Huh! You been touched by an angel, girl!

Exorcism patient: Isabella...
Maria Rossi: She said my name. How does she know my name?!

Guido: Listen to me.
Joel Goodson: No, no. You listen to ME!
Guido: [hangs up]
Joel Goodson: Shit!

When I stopped doin' runs, you promised me you were gonna stay out of it.

Chris Farraday

I had the craziest dream last night about a girl who has turned into a swan, but her prince falls for the wrong girl and she kills herself.

Nina

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