Trip: See the way I figure, I figure this war would be over a whole lot sooner if you boys just turned right on around and headed back on down that way, and you let us head on up there where the real fighting is.
Heckled Union Soldier: We got men dyin' up that road.
Trip: And there wouldn't be nothing but rebs dyin if they'd let the fifty-fourth in it.

Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Fletcher: Noooo!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.

I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.

Slinky Dog

Nicholas: I'll give you a boost.
Christine: You first.
Nicholas: This isn't an attempt to be gallant. If I don't lift you, how are you going to get there?
Christine: You pull me up.
Nicholas: It's much easier this way. Come on, step up...
Christine: No.
Nicholas: Please...
Christine: I'm not wearing underwear. Okay? There, I said it. Satisfied?
Nicholas: Oh. Fine.

Billy Hoyle: You calling me ugly?
Sidney Deane: Your mother did.

[when approaching a slaughterhouse] What's that stench?

Kirk

Luther 'Shark' Lavay: Coach, calm down you're gonna have a stroke!
Montezuma Monroe: I don't get strokes muthafucka! I give 'em!

Parker: Uh, before we dock, I think we oughta discuss the bonus situation.
Brett: Right.
Parker: Brett and I, we think we oughta - we deserve full shares, right baby?
Brett: Right. You see, Mr. Parker and I feel that the bonus situation has never been on a-an equitable level.
Dallas: Well, you get what you're contracted for like everybody else.
Brett: Yes, but everybody else, uh, gets more than us.

That girl needs to take up knitting... or some sport where she can only injure herself.

Chad Danforth

Ray Charles: How could you do that? We've been through so much. We were like brothers.
Jeff Brown: Ray... if we were like brothers, why are you paying Joe more than you're paying me?
Ray Charles: Damn all that. You broke my heart.
Jeff Brown: Well you know what, Ray? You broke mine a long goddamn time ago.
Ray Charles: Well, there it is.
Jeff Brown: You know something, Ray? You're gonna get yours one day. And I pray to God he has mercy on your soul, you son of a bitch!

I wish I were big.

Young Josh

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