Ray Kinsella: By the time I was ten, playing baseball got to be like eating vegetables or taking out the garbage. So when I was 14, I started to refuse. Could you believe that? An American boy refusing to play catch with his father.
Terence Mann: Why 14?
Ray Kinsella: That's when I read "The Boat Rocker" by Terence Mann.
Terence Mann: [rolling his eyes] Oh, God.
Ray Kinsella: Never played catch with him again.
Terence Mann: You see? That's the sort of crap people are always trying to lay on me. It's not my fault you wouldn't play catch with your father.
Rambo: Have you seen the new Rambo movie?
Paris Hilton: Have you seen a shower?
Ratso Rizzo: You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
Joe Buck: Well, I can't say all that.
Ratso Rizzo: Rico, then.
Doug Neidermeyer: How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?
[to Karl] You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck.John McClane
Andy Stitzer: I just don't want a big box of porn in my apartment.
David: There's some really great stuff in here. Really great movies in here, man. Hey, did you ever see School of Rock?
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
David: Well, this is... It's called School of... You know...
Andy Stitzer: That's nice.
David: But it stars Jack Black Cock.
Andy Stitzer: That makes sense.
This girl is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.Troy Dyer
Whackin' the boss... another thing I get left out of.Lefty
Dudley Frank: [upon seeing Maggie] She's perfect for me. I wanted to say something funny, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby Davis: Do tell... which ones? Why don't you tell the one that ends with me beating your ass?
Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Professor Henry Higgins: Have some chocolates, Eliza.
Eliza Doolittle: [halting, tempted] 'Ow do I know what might be in 'em? I've 'eard o' girls bein' drugged by the likes o' you.
Professor Henry Higgins: [Takes a chocolate and breaks it in half] Pledge of good faith. I'll take one half...
[puts one half into his mouth and bolts it; then pops the other half into Eliza's mouth]
Professor Henry Higgins: And you take the other. You'll have boxes of them, barrels of them. You'll live on them, eh?
Eliza Doolittle: [Eliza chews hesitatingly] I wouldn't've et it, only I'm too ladylike to take it out o' me mouth.
Professor Henry Higgins: Think of it, Eliza. Think of chocolates. And taxis...! And gold! And diamonds!
Eliza Doolittle: Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo! I don't want no gold and no diamonds! I'm a good girl, I am!
Lucy: My Dad told me to tell you that he's on the phone with his dentist, and that I should behave myself and entertain you until he gets back.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh. Your father's on the phone with his dentist?
Lucy: No, he told me to tell you he's on the phone with his dentist. He wants you to think he's a regular guy.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh. Well, who's he on the phone with?
Lucy: The prime minister of Israel.