I swear to God, her name is Sauvingon Blanc. Show her your Chevron card.


Dave: "I have decided who I want to be our new vice president of sales...me!"
Nick: "What did he say?"
Dave: "Nick? Please, we're in the middle of a meeting."
Nick: "Sorry."
Dave: "That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem."

[after surviving a van crash] Did you see that?


She loved you, you know that?

Bill Burke

There's not a lot that I am good at. But I'm good at getting guys to want me. Not date me, or marry me, but want me.

Rose Lorkowski

Linda: Hey, Ash! I guessed the card right!
Ash: Yeah... truly amazing.

Jimmy: THAT was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.

The world is moving so fast now that we start freaking long before our parents did because we don't ever stop to breathe anymore.


Quint: Hooper, what exactly can you do with these things of yours?
Hooper: Well, I think I can pump 20 cc's of strictnine nitrate into him, if I can get close enough.
Quint: Can you get this little needle through his skin?
Hooper: No, I can't do that. But if I can get him close enough to this cage, I think that I can get him in the mouth or the eye...
Brody: That shark will rip that cage to pieces!

Day one, greenie, rise and shine


David Mills: Murderers?
John Doe: A woman...
David Mills: Murderers, John, like yourself?
John Doe: A woman so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.

Lee: Let me tell you something about Asians, we never panic.
James Carter: Oh yeah, when Godzilla be coming, y'all be trippin': "Giaca! Giaca!"

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