Jenna: Wait, listen to me. I'm 13!
Lucy: Jenna, if you're gonna start lying about your age, I'd go with 27.

Derek Smalls: Remember at Luton Palace we were talking about writing a rock musical based on the life of Jack the Ripper.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah!
[singing]
David St. Hubbins: You're a naughty one...
Derek Smalls, David St. Hubbins: Saucy Jack...
David St. Hubbins: You're a haughty one, saucy Jack.

[to Sean] Go. Get out of here. Go!

Daniel Hayes

Steve Rogers: Bucky?
Bucky Barnes: Who the hell is Bucky?

Howard Hughes: Look at me, Kate. Stop acting.
Katharine Hepburn: Ha. I'm not acting.
Howard Hughes: I wonder if you even know any more.
Katharine Hepburn: Don't be unkind.

Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.
Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this.

Alan Shemper: When I was at camp, my favorite activity was always arts and crafts. Or, as we used to call it: arts and *farts* and crafts. We used to make drawings... cave drawings! Which is my way of saying we were cave men. I went to camp so long ago that I can remember saying "sticks and stones may break my bones" and meaning it! I went to camp so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was my counselor! And my best friend hadn't fully evolved yet! His name was Ug and he walked on all fours! There were two epidemics when I went to camp: head lice, and the plague - the bubonic plague!

Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.

Bruce

David Grant: How did she die?
Kate Grant: Saw herself in the mirror one day.

I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him, he's mine.

Otto

I don't have a problem with objective reporting. What I have a problem with is some wombat... coming on my boat trying to railroad me.

Steve Zissou

Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone?

Mr. Hand

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