Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!

Dark Helmet

Dr. Pichlow: I know she'll appreciate all you've gone through to find her. Let's call her.
Harry Dunne: It's ringing!
Lloyd Christmas: [Answering a pink phone] Whoever this is, we're in the middle of something very important here.
Harry Dunne: This is your dad.
Lloyd Christmas: What? Hey guys, I know this is weird timing but I gotta take this. It's my dead dad.
Harry Dunne: She's got me on hold.

I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago.

Rob

Reuben Tishkoff: So... where's the partner's desk gonna be?
Willie Banks: Oh, there is no partner's desk, Reuben. You're out.
Reuben Tishkoff: What? Are you gonna throw me off the roof?
Willie Banks: Well, I don't want to.

Did you chop down this tree?

The Lorax

Indeed. The record shows that Captain Kirk once held the rank of Admiral. And that Admiral Kirk was broken for taking matters into his own hands in defiance of regulations of the law. Do you deny being demoted for these charges? DON'T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION. Answer me now.

General Chang

[Fred is moaning, the male cop knocks on the window]
Male Cop: Are you okay?
Grace: Don't worry. This isn't what it looks like.
Fred: Yeah, it isn't.
Grace: I was giving him a faux-job.
Male Cop: A faux-job?
Female Cop: Yeah, that's when a woman goes south on a man but she doesn't use her mouth. So she uses her hands and makes noises.
Fred: Wait, what?

George: Annie, it's a little nippy out, you might want to put on a sweater.
Annie: Dad, it's okay, I'm kinda warm.
George: Still, there's a chill in the air and you've been on a plane.
Annie: Dad, I'm fine.
Bryan: Annie, it is kinda cold out.
Annie: It is?
Bryan: Yeah.
Annie: All right, thanks, I'll get my jacket.

What a fine detective. You found the breadcrumbs right to us.

Silken Floss

Starsky: Hey, Hutch, I beat that guy. What was that about?
Hutch: Sure you did. You won.
Starsky: You saw.
Hutch: You won. You danced your heart out.
Starsky: And everybody saw it.
Hutch: Shhh. Go to sleep.
Starsky: I was robbed.
Hutch: I know. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, tiny dancer.

Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah.

Hans Gruber: You *can* unlock the vault, can't you?
Theo: You didn't bring me along for my charming personality.

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