I love you, Will, beyond poetry.

Viola De Lesseps

[to Wilson] Hey, you want to hear something funny? My dentist's name is James Spalding.

Chuck Noland

Don Lockwood: I just had to tell you how good you were.
Kathy Selden: Excuse me.
Don Lockwood: No, no, don't go.
[pointing to cake she came out of at beginning of scene]
Don Lockwood: Now that I know where you live I'd like to see you home.

[narrating] The Umbrella Corporation feel safe, they feel secure. They're wrong.

Alice

Gail: Those boys in that Chrysler are one mistake away from seeing what Miho can do, and she' been aching for some practice.
Dwight: She guides my glance upwards to the pixie person on the roof's edge. Deadly little Miho.

Marty DiBergi: Now, during the Flower People period, who was your drummer?
David St. Hubbins: Stumpy's replacement, Peter James Bond. He also died in mysterious circumstances. We were playing a, uh...
Nigel Tufnel: ...Festival.
David St. Hubbins: Jazz blues festival. Where was that?
Nigel Tufnel: Blues jazz, really.
Derek Smalls: Blues jazz festival. Misnamed.
Nigel Tufnel: It was in the Isle of, uh...
David St. Hubbins: Isle of Lucy. The Isle of Lucy jazz and blues festival.
Nigel Tufnel: And, uh, it was tragic, really. He exploded on stage.
Derek Smalls: Just like that.
David St. Hubbins: He just went up.
Nigel Tufnel: He just was like a flash of green light... And that was it. Nothing was left.
David St. Hubbins: Look at his face.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, there was...
David St. Hubbins: It's true, this really did happen.
Nigel Tufnel: It's true. There was a little green globule on his drum seat.
David St. Hubbins: Like a stain, really.
Nigel Tufnel: It was more of a stain than a globule, actually.

Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

Walsh

Farva: MacAttack, wanna go punch for punch?
[Mac punches Farva in the stomach]
Farva: Oooh good one, I did not specify. Never shit a shitter.
[Ursula walks by]
Farva: Lady in blue comin' through.

Dr. Brand: Not sure of what I'm more afraid of, them never coming back, or coming back to find we've failed.
Murph: Then let's succeed.

Veronica Loughran: Hi, Randal.
Randal Graves: Thirty-seven?
Dante Hicks: Shut up!

Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?
Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.
Banky: That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that.
Jay: This isn't fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin', we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.
Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN.
Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is... We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.
Jay: Yeah.

There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.

H.I.

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