Why don't you lay out two lines of your selfishness, which is your blow, draw the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!

Gayle Sweeny

God, I always said I would never bother you about baseball, lord knows you have bigger things to worry about. But if you could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes, I would really appreciate it.

Billy Chapel

Coach Norman Dale: Sit down.
Rade: You gotta have five out there!
Coach Norman Dale: Sit... down!
Referee: You need one more, coach.
Coach Norman Dale: My team's on the floor!

Charlie Townsend: Women are always under the impression that men love them more that they really do.
Kitty Fane: I wouldn't delude myself for a second that you were in love with me.
Charlie Townsend: Now there you're wrong.

Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It's an ability.

Marty Barasco

Tyler Durden: You got it.
Narrator: No.
Tyler Durden: Say it.
Narrator: Because...
Tyler Durden: Say it.
Narrator: Because we're the same person.
Tyler Durden: That's right.

How can you not be romantic about baseball?

Billy Beane

Ray: Purgatory's kind of like the in-between one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham. Do you believe in all that stuff, Ken?
Ken: Tottenham?
Ray: The last judgement, and the afterlife, guilt, sins, hell, and all that?
Ken: Um...no.

You're a bunch of fuckin' elephants!


John Beckwith: Hey, listen. What angle are you going to play here?
Jeremy Grey: I am going to go with the balloon animal display. For the kids. And then when she comes near, guess who is the broken man, haunted past? How about you?
John Beckwith: I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club.
Jeremy Grey: It's all deadly.

Pooter, you're looking quite dapper this morning.

Shelley Darlingson

Darth Vader: You may take Captain Solo to Jabba the Hutt after I have Skywalker.
Boba Fett: He's no good to me dead.
Darth Vader: He will not be permanently damaged.

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