David Seville: You know, if I were to make a list of the worst days of my life, guess what? This day would be on top of the list!
Alvin: And it's still early!

Mason: [after being punched in the nuts] Why?
Tipper: You know why!

Kevin: Jane, can I have $50?
Jane: No.
Kevin: Jane, can I have $50?
Jane: No.
Kevin: [takes hand lovingly] Jane, I REALLY need $50, can i have the $50?
Jane: [hesitant] ... No?
Kevin: [laughing] See? That was good!
[grabs Jane's drink]
Kevin: Jane, can I have your drink?
Jane: Sure.

Grandpa Jed: So you went out for a slice of pizza, right? And you may have just run into the one. You know what that is?
Sam: Insanity?
Grandpa Jed: Serendipity. You don't mess with serendipity.

How can you not be romantic about baseball?

Billy Beane

Harry: "Come seek us where our voices sound/we cannot sing above the ground...?
Hermione: The Black Lake, that's obvious.
Harry: "An hour long you'll have to look...?
Hermione: Again, obvious. Though admittedly potentially problematic...
Harry: "Potentially problematic"? When was the last time that you had to hold your breath underwater for an hour, Hermione?

There's no point in being nuts if you can't have a little fun.

Nash

Dr. Emmett Brown: 1.21 jigawatts? 1.21 jigawatts! Great Scott!
Marty McFly: [following] What the hell is a jigawatt?

Kate Kavanagh: You have to admit that he’s ridiculously hot.
Anastasia Steele: If you’re attracted to that sort of human.
Kate Kavanagh: The hot type of human?

Nothing's ever for sure, John. That's the only sure thing I do know.

Charles

Clete, you tell him... Sectionals of '33, one point down. Five, four, three, two, one, let 'er fly... in and out. Yeah, well, I was fouled...

Wilbur 'Shooter' Flatch

[a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.

Columbus

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