College women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.

Joel Goodson

Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Frank Drebin: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.

Elwood: I'm gonna quit work first thing in the morning.
Jake: And how are you gonna get to work, Mr. Lead Foot, Mr. Hot Rod, Mr Motor Head? Those cops took your license away. They got your name, your address.
Elwood: No they don't got my address. I falsified my renewal. I put 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.

Baloo: What do they call you?
Bagheera: His name is Mowgli, and I'm taking him back to the man village.
Baloo: Man village? They'll ruin him. They'll make a man out of him.

James: You're alone... because you're faster than the others. But not stronger...
Edward Cullen: I'm strong enough to kill you...

All right, Popeye's here! get your hands on your heads, get off the bar, and get on the wall!

Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle

[whispering] Help me...


Thank God you found her! She just took three thingies of herbal ecstasy and wondered off! She's so out of it, anything could have happened and she probably wouldn't even know it! God, I was so worried somebody was... well you know, taking advantage of her or something. Here, help me get her on her feet.

Stoned Girl's Friend

General Owen: These bugs are just like us. Just as smart as we are. They want to study us. They want to know what makes us tick. They want to know our likes and dislikes. In short: they want to know about us... so they can KILL US!

[to Joey] You have got to stop calling me. You're acting like the Fatal Attraction guy here. I feel like I'm going to take a shower and see your silhouette on the shower curtain!

Alma Moore

Sharpay Evans: When did you become... one of them?
Ryan Evans: You know, I'll take that as a compliment.

I can handle a sick old woman!

Lila Crane

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