Mankind is the virus, and I'm the cure.


[to Malcolm as they see the apes] That's a hell of lot more than eighty!


She's quite cute, you know. Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted booty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.


[bullets flying all over the place] I forgot to take my Birth-Control Pills!


Lynn Sear: Where is she?
Cole Sear: Standing next to my window.
Lynn Sear: Cole, you're scaring me.
Cole Sear: They scare me too sometimes.
Lynn Sear: They?
Cole Sear: Ghosts.

Worm: I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the fuckin' rake.
Mike McDermott: What the fuck are you talkin' about. What saying?
Worm: I... I don't know. There ought to be one though.

Cravely: And I don't know why the hell I didn't fire you when you broke my fucking window.
Gust Avrakotos: Oh yes sure you do Cravely.
Cravely: Look Gust!
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah you're fucking Roger's fiance, and you know I know.
Cravely: I'm not I'm not I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah yeah, you're dignifying her in the ass, at the Jefferson Motel Room 1210 but let me ask you, the 3000 agents Turner fired, was that because they lacked diplomatic skills as well?

Stephanie: Greg and I are having sex problems.
B. Rabbit: Please, you're not gonna talk to me about that.
Stephanie: Greg won't go down on me.
B. Rabbit: Fuck, mom.

Bruce Wayne: Have you told anyone I'm coming back?
Alfred Pennyworth: I just couldn't figure legal ramifications of bringing you back from the dead.
Bruce Wayne: Dead?
Alfred Pennyworth: You've been gone seven years.
Bruce Wayne: You have me declared dead?
Alfred Pennyworth: Actually it was Mr. Earl, he's taking the company public. He wanted to liquidate your majority shareholding. Those shares are worth quite a bit of money.
Bruce Wayne: It's a good thing I left everything to you then.
Alfred Pennyworth: Quite so, sir. And you can borrow the Rolls if you like. Just bring it back with a full tank.

The kraken has been unleashed! Feel the Fat Amy force!

Fat Amy

The Bride: You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your daughter.
Copperhead: That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.
The Bride: It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack; not rationality.

If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man.

William Somerset

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