Michael Newman: Sorry, i'm late , sir. Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so...
Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo, Drive red Lamborghini.
Michael Newman: Red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.

Selfridge: Look you're supposed to be winning the hearts and minds of the natives. Isn't that the whole point of your little puppet show? If you walk like them, you talk like them they'll trust you. We build them a school, teach them English. But after - how many years - the relations with the indigenous are only getting worse.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, well that tends to happen when you use machine guns on them.
Selfridge: Right. Come with me. You see this? This is why we're here. Because this little gray rock sells for $20 million a kilo. This is what pays for the whole party, and it's what pays for your science. Those savages are threatening our whole operation. We're on the brink of war and you're supposed to be finding me a diplomatic solution. So use what you've got, and get me some results

Maximillian Cohen: Failed treatments to date: Beta blockers, calcium channel blockers, adrenalin injections, high dose ibuprofen, steroids, Trager Mentastics, violent exercise, cafergot suppositories, caffeine, acupuncture, marijuana, Percodan, Midrine, Tenormin, Sansert, homeopathics. No results. No results...

Rob Hawkins: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me. I love you!
Beth McIntyre: I love you!

Man cannot live on porn alone.

Maya

Meeting with sinister types much? A not too much, a much too much.

Ace

Jeff Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes...
Stoner Friend: No dice! Ohhhh.
Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Jeff Spicoli: He's the full hot orator.

Dr. Jean Grey: I think you'll be comfortable here.
Wolverine: Where's your room?
Dr. Jean Grey: With Scott, down the hall.
Wolverine: Is that your gift? Putting up with that guy?
Dr. Jean Grey: Actually, I'm telekinetic. I can move things with my mind.
Wolverine: Really? What kind of things?
Dr. Jean Grey: [shuts closet doors behind him with her mind] All kinds of things. I also have some telepathic ability.
Wolverine: Like the Professor?
Dr. Jean Grey: Nowhere near that powerful. But he's teaching me to develop it.
Wolverine: I'm sure he is. So read my mind.
Dr. Jean Grey: I'd rather not.
Wolverine: C'mon. You afraid you might like it?
Dr. Jean Grey: I doubt it.

Terence Fletcher: Were you rushing or were you dragging?
Andrew: I-I don't know.
Terence Fletcher: Start counting!
Andrew: Five, six...
Terence Fletcher: In four, dammit! Look at me!
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three...
Terence Fletcher: Now, was I rushing or I was dragging?
Andrew: I don't know.
Terence Fletcher: Count again.
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three, four...
Terence Fletcher: Rushing or dragging?
Andrew: Rushing.
Terence Fletcher: [yelling] So, you do know the difference!

Luvven Coddle: I sense a, a yearning in you. A, a searching, almost, as if you're lost. You've been lost for a long, long time. Am I right? You found Jesus, Al.
Al Fountain: Why? Is he missing?

It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.

George Downes

Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.

Max Fischer

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