Jim's Dad: I have not had a night like that since the 70s.
Jim: Don't need this.
Jim's Dad: You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb.

Ray Charles: From now on we're gonna sing a four part harmony. Ethel, I want you to sing alto. Margie, I want you to sing tenor. Pat, soprano, and Mary Ann, bass.
Mary Ann Fisher: I ain't no bass. I'm a soprano.
Margie Hendricks: I'll sing bass. Where we come from we can sing anything.
Mary Ann Fisher: We talking about singing, sugar, not hog calling.
Fathead Newman: Oh that's cold.
Margie Hendricks: Who you calling a hog?
Mary Ann Fisher: Well, if the corn cob fits.

Missy: See, I'm a hardcore gymnast. No way jumping up and down yelling "Go Team Go!" is gonna satisfy me.
Torrance Shipman: We're gymnasts too... except no beams, no bars, no vault.

Hi, you've just been erased.

WitSec Ops

Odessa: You married?
Slide: Say what?
Odessa: You married?
Slide: No, I ain't married. What's up?
Odessa: Just taking a poll.
Slide: Taking a poll?
Odessa: I'll take your poll...

I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him, he's mine.

Otto

Dinner for two. Clothing optional.

Van Wilder

Oh my God, the quarterback is toast.

Theo

Señor Bond, you got big cojones. You come here, to my place, without references, carrying a piece, throwing around a lot of money... but you should know something

Franz Sanchez

Missy: What is your sexuality?
Les: Well, Jan's straight, and I'm... controversial.
Missy: Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?
Les: Oh, fluently.

You make me sick. Stay away from me, stay away from sister or I'll have you fired.

Baby

The Stranger: They didn't take me.
Eben Olemaun: Who did they take?
The Stranger: They didn't take me!

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