Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.

Dying is easy. Playing a lesbian is hard.

Mary Pat Hooligan

Jenny Summers: Axel!
Victor Maitland: Careful, old boy. You might hit me.

Father Flynn: You haven't the slightest proof of anything!
Sister Aloysius: But I have my certainty.

I'm Opal, from the BBC!


Elliot: Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck, what do you call that?
Boog: Ahhh a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... i look like a bear, i talk like a bear but i can't fish, i can't climb a tree, i can't even go in the woods
Elliot: Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog: I ride a unicycle for crackers
Elliot: I have a glass eye
Boog: I can't snap
Elliot: I thought log was a colour
Boog: I can't see my feet!
Elliot: I killed a man!

Christy Cummings: It's interesting, we have kind of a family dynamic going on here which pretty much mirrors what I grew up with, I'm the mommy slash daddy, the taskmaster, the disciplinarian.
Sherri Ann Cabot: Mr. Punishment over here.
Christy Cummings: But I also reward and Sherri Ann is responsible for the unconditional love.
Sherri Ann Cabot: And the decorative ability.
Christy Cummings: The heart and the soul which was what my mom did, that was her role, she was there for the unconditional love and it worked for my family, you know... until my mom committed suicide in '81.

Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.


Josh: Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. God.
Billy: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Josh: HEY!
Billy: You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
Josh: You don't get it, do you? This is important!
Billy: I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh?
[Turns to leave]
Billy: And I'm three months older than you are, ASSHOLE!

Bumper: Boo! I'm just kidding! Would you like to have sex later?
Fat Amy: No! [winks].
Bumper: Okay, you said no but you winked. So that's a no then?
Fat Amy: 100% no! [winks].

They were going to kill you in cold blood. I couldn't let that happen. Not here. This is a decent neighborhood!

Frank McCarthy

Virgil: Who are we kidding? I'm blind. I can't see see. I don't belong here. I'm not meant to see.
Amy Benic: You're darn right you're blind. I'm standing right here for you and you don't even look.

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