Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!

Donkey

Give me the sharp weapon, I wanna put it up his butt!

Fat Amy

Alice: What's your work?
Dan: I'm sort of... journalist.
Alice: What sort?
Dan: I write obituaries.

It's survival of the fittest, Max, and we've got the fucking gun.

Marcy Dawson

Where are we going?

Christopher

Indiana: Hello, Marion.
Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?
Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.

He's the reason Cliffs Notes were invented.

Troy Dyer

Edward Cole: I envy people who have faith, I just can't get my head around it.
Carter Chambers: Maybe because your head's in the way.

[Picks up silver canister] This is an amazing find! You see it's got the marking there of... It's definitely Alien, but it, it isn't a weapon. However I still don't trust it.

Wikus Van De Merwe

Deputy Dewey Riley: He's my superior!
Tatum: Janitor is your superior.

Conrad: This is for you.
Nicholas: You shouldn't have.
Conrad: What do you get for the man who has... everything?

Well, you should have seen the cover they WANTED to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.

Ian Faith

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