Valentine McKee: Good luck, shithead.
Earl Bassett: Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we fucked. How about that? Would that be money?

Mike

Harriet Miller: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
Rodney Miller: It's all Greek to me.

You've got a nasty reputation, Mr. Gittes. I like that.

Noah Cross

Rick: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.
Rick: [throwing her overboard] Trust me, it calls for it.

My great-great-grandmother's portrait hung in the University up until the Revolution. By then, the truth of their romance had been reduced to a simple fairy tale. And while Cinderella and her Prince *did* live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they *lived*.

Grand Dame

Noinch, Noinch, Noinch, Schmokin Weed, Schmokin' Weed, Doin' Coke, Drinkin' Beers...

Jay

Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.

Phil

Ricky Slade: Excuse me, what, you don't have to hit me. Excuse me.
Bernardo: What?
Ricky Slade: I'm sweeping, you don't have to hit me with your whip. What do you have a horse outside, don't hit me with the whip please.

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.

Adrian Cronauer

Here we all are, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world! So stand and fight!

Nick Fury

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