Here you are sitting on your butt playing house with a... Don't get me wrong, H.I., a fine woman but one who seems like she needs one of those button-down types.

Gale

[on the tapes] This looks like a library of classics.

David Fox

Brace yourselves, I think you're about to witness a murder.

Doug Carlin

Dan: At six, we stand round the computer and read the next day's page, make final changes, put in a few euphemisms to amuse ourselves...
Alice: Such as?
Dan: "He was a convivial fellow" ... meaning he was an alcoholic. "He valued his privacy" ... gay. "He enjoyed his privacy" ... raging queen.
Alice: What would my euphemism be?
Dan: She was... disarming.
Alice: That's not a euphemism.
Dan: Yes, it is.

[Talking about after her mom's death] It was so hard. I had to take on all of her responsibilities. Cooking... cleaning... breast feeding Mitch.

Janey

Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

Steve Zissou

DJ, drop it like it's hot!

Kimberly "Lil' Kim" Jones

Police Captain: What do you think?
David Mills: I'm in.
Mark Swarr: It has to be both of you.
William Somerset: If he were to claim insanity, this conversation is admissible. The fact that he's blackmailing us with his plea...
Mark Swarr: And my client reminds you, two more are dead. The press would have a field day if they found out the police didn't seem too concerned about finding them... giving them a proper burial.
William Somerset: If there really are two more dead.

William Somerset: This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
David Mills: He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!

Leon, somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor's working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence headquarters. He's going about doing his job... because he has no idea, in about an hour he's going to die in a massive explosion. He's just going about his job, because he has no idea that about an hour ago I gave an order to have him killed. You've just seen me do the least presidential thing I do.

President Andrew Shepherd

Satipo: [picking up poison dart] The Hovitos are near. The poison is still fresh, three days. They're following us.
Barranca: If they knew we were here, they would've killed us already.

Van Wilder: Well just take a look at this... ya... doodles... I attend class today just about stayed the whole time too!
Gwen: I'm glad you went to all your classes today.
Van Wilder: And a few that weren't mine, I stepped in the wrong room, liked what I heard... stayed.
Gwen: That's great!

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