Size doesn’t matter, performance does.


Angie Gennaro: Did you ever sell to Helene?
Bubba Rogowski: There's reasons why there ain't three inches of plexiglass between us right now. That's because I don't fuck with skeezers like Helene. Or coconuts like Cheese. You should know better by now. I'm the king of this motherfucking jungle.

Lightning: Hey Webster, show a little respect!
Dante Slate, Jr.: I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race!
Lightning: Nope, it's because you're short and black!
Dante Slate, Jr.: What was Jesus like? I'm curious. Was he cool?

Bo Catlett: It says here you're getting Martin Weir for the part of Lovejoy?
Chili Palmer: That's right, we're getting Martin.
Bo Catlett: Come on, how you gonna do that?
Chili Palmer: I'm gonna take a gun, I'm gonna put it to his head, and say, "sign the fucking papers, Martin, or you're dead." That's it.
Bo Catlett: I wonder, would that work?

Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: To make a fighter you gotta strip them down to bare wood: you can't just tell 'em to forget everything you know if you gotta make 'em forget even their bones... make 'em so tired they only listen to you, only hear your voice, only do what you say and nothing else... show 'em how to keep their balance and take it away from the other guy... how to generate momentum off their right toe and how to flex your knees when you fire a jab... how to fight backin' up so that the other guy doesn't want to come after you. Then you gotta show 'em all over again. Over and over and over... till they think they're born that way.

Some labels are best left in the closet

Carrie Bradshaw

You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement


Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett: Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett: I thought you called it your pecker.

Giselle: Goodness, we sure has a lot of excitement tonight. Were you scared?
Morgan Philip: A little bit, but do you think Pip will be ok?
Giselle: Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about Pip. He is very brave.
[cut to Morgan's bedroom]
Giselle: I remember this one time, when the poor wolf was being chased around by Little Red Riding Hood around his grandmother's house, and she had an axe... oh, and if Pip hadn't been walking by to help I don't know what would've happened!
Morgan Philip: I don't really remember that version.
Giselle: Well, that's because Red tells it a little differently.

Grandpa: [narrating] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [narrating] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.

Why don't you sleep with the pigs, cindersoot, if you insist on smelling like one.


Buckingham Palace Security Guard: The fire alarm is going off!
Riley Poole: Uh-oh! God save the Queen!

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