Bill Ubell: No, Captain! That's Cedric. He's a friend.
Steve Zissou: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

Zeus: McClane. McClane!
John McClane: What?
Zeus: [shouts] McClane!

Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up.
Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?"
Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting.
Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?"
Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ.
Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko.

These saints put my father on his knees!

Concezio Yakavetta

David Mills: You've read my files, right? You've seen the things I've done?
William Somerset: No.

Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But - I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Westley: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

Jay: If today is Tuesday and the movie starts filming on Friday, we have... eight days.
Holden: Uh, three by my count, but close.
Jay: Right. My bad. Three days to stop that fucking movie from getting made. Come on, Silent Bob. We're going to Hollywood!

To the forward command center take me.


One time, I was at this party... and I was sitting on the couch with Amanda McKinney. She was just sitting there, looking beautiful. So, I lean in to kiss her, and I realize I have gum in my mouth. So, I turn to spit it out and put it in a paper cup. I turn back, and Amanda McKinney throws up all over herself. I knew the moment it happened, it was a miracle. I could have been kissing her when she threw up. It would have scarred me for life. I may never have recovered.


Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh... Salsa shark! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark.

Randal Graves

Kate Grant: That's Ed Pegram singing.
Kate Grant: Did you know that he was always trying to get in my bloomers?
David Grant: Jesus Mom! Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
Kate Grant: These boys grow up staring at the rear ends of cows and pigs, it's only natural that a real woman will get them chafing their pants.

Agent Paxton: Mr. Mason, I'm Special Agent-in-Charge Ernest Paxton.
John Mason: In charge of what? Fucking me over for another three decades?
Agent Paxton: I don't know anything about your previous matters. We've brought you here because there's a situation that we think you can help us with.
John Mason: What might that be? I've been in jail longer than Nelson Mandela, so maybe you want me to run for president.

FREE Movie Newsletter