Jack Foley: Is this your first time being robbed?
[Loretta nods]
Jack Foley: You're doing great.

You asked me once how I was gonna save your life. This is it. This moment.

Louanne

But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada.

Stan

Selena: We have enough food.
Jim: Yeah, but we don't have any cheeseburgers.

Edith: It's against the law to be married to two people at the same time!
Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?

I bugged the scotch bottle.

Gust Avrakotos

Love, passion, obsession, all those things you told me to wait for, well, they've arrived. What are you afraid of, Dad? That I'll fall head over heels for Joe? Well, I have.

Susan Parrish

First, it's a Saturday night thing when you feel cool like a gangster or a rockstar- just something to kill the boredom, you know? They call it a chippie, a small habit. It feels so good, you start doing it on Tuesdays... then Thursdays... then it's got you. Every wise ass punk on the block says it won't happen to them, but it does.

Jim Carroll

Ya know, I believe it was our buddy Bill Shakespeare who said, "To err is human, but to forgive, well that's right on."

Reese Feldman

Why in God's name would I wanna keep writing about characters whose central preoccupation are weed and dick and fart jokes? I mean, ya gotta grow man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man crying out. He's crying out, "When Lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! Fuck! When, Lord when? WHENS GONNA BE MY TIME?"

Holden

Ben... Ben. Why didn't you tell me?

Luke

It's not about doing the things you love, it's about doing things with the one you love!

Gary

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