Rufus T. Firefly: Awfully decent of you to drop in today. Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
Chicolini: I've done it already.
Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.
Rufus T. Firefly: So you're on the other side, eh? Well, what are you doing over here?
Chicolini: Well, the food is better over here.

Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie: No way.

For you, killing your son was like running a over a dog in the street. Just something in your way.

Han Sing

I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh!

Cher

Courtney: Darcy thinks she should get captain 'cause her dad pays for everything.
Whitney: He should use some of that money to buy her a clue.

Cat: You realize you're going right into her trap.
Coraline Jones: They're my parents.
Cat: Challenge her, then! She has a *thing* for games. She won't be able to resist.

Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No there's not.

I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late.

Morty

Curt: What is that? [spoken seriously while staring at the lake]
Dana: What?
Curt: In the lake, I swear to god I...
Dana: Yeah, right...
Curt: No seriously. Right there. Don't you see it? There. It looks just like my girlfriend.

Jerry Shaw, you have been activated. Your compliance is vital.

Woman on phone

[Ronny trying to talk to Geneva]
Ronny: I saw you yesterday with a loser in a dead mill print t-shirt
Geneva: You think I want to go and see Zip.
Ronny: You found a guy in the city named Zip. Zip.
Geneva: The point is
[Ronny cuts her off]
Ronny: Who names their kid Zip. Zip.

Jean: Do you want to hear something funny?
Maria: What's that Mrs. Jean?
Jean: You're the best friend I've got.

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