The Bride: You want to come to the wedding?
Bill: Only if I can sit on the bride's side.
The Bride: You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.
Bill: Your side always was a bit lonely. But I wouldn't sit anywhere else.

[giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O'Houlihan

This is the man cave, there's no women allowed in here. I got a jerk-off station for God's sake.

Sydney Fife

Dwayne, you can get through college half-assed. Richard, you can get through LIFE half-assed. But I'll guarantee you boys one thing

Pete Bell

John Smith: [talking about their predicament] So what do we do, Jane? Shoot it out here? Hope for the best?
Jane Smith: Well, that would be bad because they would probably ask me to leave once you are dead.

Parker: Uh, before we dock, I think we oughta discuss the bonus situation.
Brett: Right.
Parker: Brett and I, we think we oughta - we deserve full shares, right baby?
Brett: Right. You see, Mr. Parker and I feel that the bonus situation has never been on a-an equitable level.
Dallas: Well, you get what you're contracted for like everybody else.
Brett: Yes, but everybody else, uh, gets more than us.

Oh! That's gonna leave a mark.

Barf

President Andrew Shepherd: I want to buy her some flowers. That's what men do when they break a date.
Robin McCall: That's not what men do. I know no men who do that.

For a long time I've been walking down life's road with my two pals, Bad Luck and Bad Choices. Fortunately I'm a big believer in new beginnings, new friends, and running from my problems. So one day I decided to head for the island. Aloha, my name is Jack.

Jack Ryan

Annie: So what are you hiding from the law or is it just a bad nose job?
Penelope: Mhm, bad nose job.

I wasn't strong enough to save you mum. I wasn't strong enough, but I promise I won't fail again.

Anakin

Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" Well, that's true with every day except one: the day that you die.

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