And as long as I have teeth, I will bite you!

Eli Sunday

Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.
Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...
Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.
Susan Cooper: In black-face? That's not appropriate.
Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.
Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

Lynn Bracken: You're the first man in five years who didn't tell me I look like Veronica Lake inside of a minute.
Bud White: You look better than Veronica Lake.

How am I supposed to tell Bianca that her father is dead?

Allison Jimeno

C. K. Dexter Haven: Of course, Mr. Connor, she's a girl who is generous to a fault.
Tracy Lord: To a fault.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Except to other people's faults.

Son, you got a panty on your head.

Hayseed

Judge Anson B. Flynn: How long have you known your client?
Victor Larrabee: Seven years, Your Honor.
Judge Anson B. Flynn: Do you know him to be a reasonable man?
Victor Larrabee: Absolutely.
Clara Thornhill: Ha!
Roger Thornhill: Mother.
Judge Anson B. Flynn: And you believe there is some...

[after Bond finds her in the bathtub in his hotel room] Since you're here, would you mind giving me something to put on?

Fiona

[to Klitz] I know this isn't professional, but I think you're really cute.

April

Marion: We-he-he-ell I have to be going now, Rene.
Belloq: Go on.
Marion: I like you, Rene, very much. Perhaps we'll meet again under better circumstances.

Saul: BFFF?
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!

Mitch: No longer will our penises be flaccid and unused.
Bruce: No longer we steal grandfather's porn.
Ox: No longer we will wear blindfolds while jerking each other off.

FREE Movie Newsletter