What Is This Place?Thomas
Lester Burnham: When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track.
Ricky Fitts: That sucks.
Lester Burnham: No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me.
Sarah Marshall: Remember how we thought the killer masturbated before commiting his crimes?
Detective Hunter Rush: Yes?
Sarah Marshall: Take a look...
Detective Hunter Rush: ...Looks like where he's going he'll need to know how to masturbate.
Danny: Man, why do you bow for that guy?
Augie Farks: Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.
Danny: Oh he rules the entire realm? Oh my bad.
Danny: Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?
Matt Farrell: Shouldn't we call for backup or something?
John McClane: Makes too much sense.
Marty McFly: Cubs win world series against Miami?
Old Terry: Yeah. Who would've thought? 100 to 1 shot! I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season, put some money on the Cubs.
Marty McFly: I just meant Miami ... what did you just say?
Old Terry: I said I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season, put some money on the Cubbies!
[Ronny to Cousing Betty]
Ronny: Who are you?
Cousin Betty: I am cousin Betty.
Ronny: Are you first?
Cousin Betty: Second.
Who do you think is running Congress? Farmers? Engineers? Teachers? Businessmen? No, my friends. Congress is run by lawyers. A lawyer is trained for two things and two things only. To clarify - that's one. And to confuse - that's the other. He does whichever is to his client's advantage. Did you ever ask a lawyer the time of day? He told you how to make a watch, didn't he? Ever ask a lawyer how to get to Mr. Jones' house in the country? You got lost, didn't you? Congress is composed of five hundred and thirty-five individuals. Two hundred and eighty-eight are lawyers. And you wonder what's wrong in Congress. No wonder we often know how to make a watch, but we don't know the time of day.Hal Philip Walker
What is your damage, Heather?Veronica Sawyer
(Said to Adam): Don't screw it up. Ten years from now you're going to be having sex with your wife and it's going to be in the missionary position and one of you is going to be asleep.
There is no Briony.Briony (18 years old)
You know, I used to want to have a TV ministry. I thought that'd be cool. And now, frankly, all I really want is health insurance.Cotton Marcus