Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Does anybody have any ideas?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What about... a phone... you can smell through...

Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs, the customers are getting restless.
Mr. Krabs: Listen up, boy get in there and make me customers some krabby patties.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy?
Mr. Krabs: We're out of krabby patties?
SpongeBob SquarePants: How can we make more krabby patties without the secret formula?
Mr. Krabs: You've got to have that formuler memorized by now.
SpongeBob SquarePants: But as you are aware, sir, the Employee Handbook clearly states, and I quote, "No employee may in part, or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty secret formula to any recorded, written, or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needlepoint".
Mr. Krabs: [He sobbed] Oh, curse you, fine print!

Harry Potter: Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Lucy: Aren't you a little old to be still a student here?
Harry Potter: Nonsense. I am but 14.

I am surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.


Donkey: Wat about my Miranda rights?You're supposed to say "You have the right to remain silent!". Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity.

By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!

Ron Burgundy

Michael: Hello.
Kim: Hey, don't hang up. Look, I'm so sorry about before. I think... God, I must've had too much to drink or something, but, if I promise not to try to kiss you or anything, will you come over here and talk to me? I really need to talk to you.

I know how to find secrets from your Mind, I know all the tricks!


Bo the Bartender: Must be tough coming back.
Clark Kent: Coming back?
Bo the Bartender: To work.

Wait up, girls; I got a salami I gotta hide still.

Carl Spackler

Harry Burns: ...Are you finished now?
Sally Albright: ...Yes.
Harry Burns: Can I say something?
Sally Albright: Yes.
Harry Burns: ...I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Just you left, Dan. Just you and your boy.

Ben Wade

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