If basketball is all you care about, why you bonin' me? Why don't you bone Dick Vital?


[drinking a toast] Well, here's to the merry-go-round.

Ellie Andrews

Alpa Chino: Maybe I just knew I had to represent...
Kirk Lazarus: Hot damn!
Alpa Chino: ...because they had one good part in there for a *black* man, and they gave it to "Crocodile Dundee"!
Kirk Lazarus: [offended] Pump your brakes kid, that man's a national treasure.
Alpa Chino: I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby!
Kirk Lazarus: You about to cross some fuckin' line!

But choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.

Grail Knight

We can't bury Shelly. S-She's a friend of ours.


Rocko Dillon: I've been watching you McGurke. You handle yourself really good.
Frank Drebin: Really well.
Rocko Dillon: Whatever.

We're not going to see Mother-Fucker Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.

Nick Hendricks

Jim Braddock: Max, my wife Mae.
Max Baer: You are far too pretty to be a widow.
Jim Braddock: That's not nice, Max. Not nice. Come on.
Max Baer: On second thought, maybe I can comfort you after he's gone.
Joe Gould: Hey, I said shut your goddamn mouth, you punk!

Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.

Too many little boys thinkin' they thugs.


Justin Shipman: Hey, I have to tell you something!
Torrance Shipman: I'm on the phone creep!
Justin Shipman: I realize that, and normally I'd be listening on the other line, but this is important.
Torrance Shipman: Okay, what?
Justin Shipman: [farts twice]
Torrance Shipman: Ugh! Get Out!
Justin Shipman: Thank you for listening.

Come on into the water!

Christine 'Chrissie' Watkins

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