Cartman: Kyle, all those times I called you a stupid Jew, I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.
Kyle: Yes I am, Cartman! I *am* a Jew!
Cartman: No, no, don't be so hard on yourself.

[after hearing that his wife's been cheating on him] I couldn't hear you. There was a crack in the planet. WOW... that was noisy!

John Clasky

Bacon: What's that?
Samoan Joe's Barman: It's a cocktail. You asked for a cocktail.
Bacon: No. I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest! You could fall in love with an orangutan in that!
Samoan Joe's Barman: You want a pint, you go to the pub.
Bacon: I thought this was a pub!
Samoan Joes Barman: It's a Samoan pub.

Todd: You were basically the worst parent ever!
Donny: I was awesome!
Todd: You let me eat cake and lollipops for breakfast every day!
Donny: That's what you asked for!
Todd: You're supposed to say no!

Count Dooku: Geonosians don't trust bounty hunters.
Obi-Wan: Well, who can blame them?

You were banished because you were clumsy?

Obi-Wan

Here is the list of things to do while I'm away. Batteries need to be replaced. Toys in the bottom of the chest need to be rotated. Oh, and make sure everyone attends Mr. Spell's seminar on what to do if part of you is swallowed. Okay? Okay, good, okay.

Woody

Anne: What would you say if no one came to your funeral?
Georges: Nothing, presumably.

Katherine: [meeting Jeff] You don't look like a lawyer...
Jeff: You don't look like a Grandma.
Katherine: You ARE a lawyer! Full of shit.

Mother Paula's is going to be a shining example of my six-point economic development plan, bringing to Coconut Cove over *twelve* new jobs!

Mayor

The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for is everything.

Alfred Borden

Your aunt is a very lucky woman, Angelica. She has two lives. She has the life she is leading, and also the books she is writing.

Vanessa Bell

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