Judith: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
J.D.: Yes... No!
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man?
J.D.: Which man?
Judith: Any man!
J.D.: You mean like a tall man?
Judith: Sure, whatever!
J.D.: 'Cause I don't like tall people, they bother me!
Judith: What about a short man?
J.D.: How short? Some times people can be too short, that's weird like midgets!
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
J.D.: Does that include celebrities?

T.E. Lawrence: We do not work this thing for Feisal. Auda abu Tayi: No? For the English, then?
T.E. Lawrence: For the Arabs. Auda abu
Tayi: The Arabs? The Howitat, Ajili, Rala, Beni Saha; these I know, I have even heard of the Harif, but the Arabs? What tribe is that?

Back home, they put me in jail for what I'm doing. Here, they give me awards.

Ace Rothstein

Wine Colored Tuxedo: I said there are no seats left sir, at any price.
Dr. Gonzo: Fuck seats! We're friends of Debbie's. I used to romp with her.

Han Solo: Yeah, but this time I've *got* the money.
Greedo: If you give it to me, I might forget I found you.
Han Solo: I don't have it *with* me. Tell Jabba...
Greedo: Jabba's through with you. He has no use for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.
Han Solo: Even *I* get boarded *sometimes.* Do you think I had a choice?
Greedo: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship.
Han Solo: Over my dead body!

If I'm going to make a fake movies, it's going to be a fake hit.

Lester Siegel

You take it from here, Slugger.

Johnny

Walter: Do you guys think that Kermit's been acting a little weird lately?
Miss Piggy: That's ridiculous! He's never been so caring and devoted to me!
Rizzo: Yeah, that's what we are saying!

I'll speak slow, so those of you with Ph.D.'s in the room can understand.

Doug Carlin

Get the fuck off my sight before I'll demolish you!

Terence Fletcher

You're wasting your time here. I'm not going to report this or anything you do to my crops to the police or news or anybody. You're not going to get famous.

Graham Hess

Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?

Kathryn

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