These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the endgame.

Charlie Wilson

Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...

Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

I'm not dying, you idiot!


Alfred Borden: So... we go alone now. Both of us. Only I don't have as far to go as you. Go. You were right, I should have left him to his damn trick. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things. I'm sorry about Sarah. I didn't mean to hurt her... I didn't. You go and live your life in full now, all right? You live for both of us.
Fallon: Goodbye.

White Bitch: Behold, my white castle.
[she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: I think I've been there before.

Don Billingsley: If I have anything to say about it tonight you're going to get drunk and you're going to get laid.
Mike Winchell: I'm not going out drunk and foolin'.

[narrating] This is a story about a man named Harold Crick and his wristwatch.

Karen Eiffel

I see dead people.

Cole Sear

My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen!

Ace Ventura

Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
Stu Price: They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
Phil Wenneck: [yelling from outside] Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot!
Stu Price: I should go.
Melissa: That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.

[excited] Oh, my God!

Chad Feldheimer

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