[shouting] Where are the black people?


That was me seducing you. It needs to be the other way around.

Thomas Leroy

Shit, you guys, I have never had straight friends before!


Angel Stripper: Oh I'm the weird one? You're the one calling Barry Mannilow from a phone booth at 2:00 am!

  • Permalink: 00 am!
  • Rating: Unrated

Chiles Stanton: Oh, hi Beau.
Beau Hutton: It would have been easier to wish me luck.
Chiles Stanton: I'm on board. I'm playing three songs tonight.
Beau Hutton: Says who?
Chiles Stanton: I happen to be in consideration as the new opening act for Miss Kelly Canter. James, my new manager, booked me this gig as a rehearsal... not that I need it.
Beau Hutton: Clint, tell me Garth Brooks here is not opening for me.
Clint: She's not, she's closing for you. Can't do nothing about it either.
Beau Hutton: This is your place, you can tell her no.
Clint: Not for James Canter, I can't.
Beau Hutton: You're gonna let this prom queen get up on stage? For Christ's, sake, Patsy Cline sang here.
Clint: I don't care, she's still gonna play. I'm not cutting your set, Beau, you got the same three songs.
Chiles Stanton: Don't worry, Beau. I have no intention of stealing your invisible career. See, I want one.

And you, young Skywalker; we shall watch your career with great interest.

Chancellor Palpatine

Where are all the white women at?

Gunman at Fair in Final Scene

Just a matter of time, I suppose.

Edward Blake

Guard 2: Don't hurt us, lady. Our take-home is less than three-hundred!
Catwoman: You're overpaid.

Discovering the object of the game *is* the object of the game.

Daniel Schorr

Harry Terwilliger: Paul, we're not gonna have some Cherokee medicine man in here whoopin', hollerin' and shaking his dick are we?
Paul Edgecomb: Well actually...
Toot-Toot: Still prayin'! Still prayin'! Gettin' right with Jesus!
Harry Terwilliger: Do it quietly you old gink!
Paul Edgecomb: As I was saying, I don't think they actually shake their dicks Harry. Be that as it may Mr. Bitterbuck is a Christian, so I have the Reverend Schuster coming out.
Dean Stanton: Oh he's good. He's fast too. Doesn't get 'em all worked up.

[both have discovered that they were on the desert and one tried to kill the other]
John Smith: I missed you.
Jane Smith: I missed you too.

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