Randal Graves: Do you know what I just watched?
Dante Hicks: Me pulling a can off some moron's fist?
Randal Graves: Return of the Jedi.

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

You see - comedy. Love, and a bit with a dog. That's what they want.

Philip Henslowe

Alyssa: Let me ask you something. Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: What, are you asking for my permission?
Alyssa: In your estimation.
Banky Edwards: Yeah, sure.
Alyssa: So for you, to fuck means to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition. You, inside some girl you duped, jackhammering away, not noticing the bored look in her eyes.
Banky Edwards: Hey, I always notice the bored look in their eyes.

AS IF. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky.

Cher

Fellas, last year I made 3 million dollars, but your 50 thousand was the most fun. Are you ready? Then let's go get 'em.

Janet Colgate

Jack: Man! That's tasty!
Miles Raymond: That's 100% pinot noir. Single vineyard. They don't even make it any more.
Jack: Pinot noir?
Miles Raymond: Mmm-hmm.
Jack: Then how come it's white?
Miles Raymond: [laughs] Oh, Jesus. Don't ask questions like that up in wine country. They'll think you're some kind of dumbshit, OK?

Elinor Dashwood: Did he tell you he loved you?
Marianne: Yes... no. Never absolutely. It was everyday implied but never declared.

Luke: Master Yoda, you can't die.
Yoda: Strong am I with the Force, but not that strong.

Judge: Yeah... Gosh, you know, your concepts are really interesting, Mister Jung.
George: Thank you.
Judge: Unfortunately for you, the line you crossed was real and the plants you brought with you were illegal, so your bail is twenty thousand dollars.

Lisa Houseman: Oh, my God. Look at that! Ma, I should have brought my coral shoes. You said I was taking too much!
Marjorie Houseman: Well, sweetheart, you brought ten pairs.
Lisa Houseman: But the coral shoes match that dress!
Jake Houseman: This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine, or police dogs used in Birmingham.
Baby: Monks burning themselves in protest.
Lisa Houseman: Butt out, Baby.

Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.

The Cable Guy

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