Jake: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Hold it, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all my life.

Check in Attendant: Mr. Rhod, you are going to have to assume your individual position.
DJ Ruby Rhod: I don't want one position, I want all positions!

Terence Fletcher: [Andrew keeps playing after the music ends] Andrew, what are you doing?
Andrew: I cue you!

I can't express anger. That's one of the problems I have. I grow a tumor instead.

Isaac Davis

Sarah: [Meg and Sarah are in the elevator trying to escape] What's going on?
Meg: People. In the house.

Ace: Just what sort of bat are we talking about?
Fulton Greenwall: The Great White Bat, of course.
Ace: Corpus Kilochiroptera?
Fulton Greenwall: Yes, but to the natives... Shikaka.
Ace: Shikaka... Shikaka! Shikasha! Ohhh! Shishkabab. Shawshank Redemption. ShicaaaaGO! You're outta there! Go on, I gotcha, you're out.

Brandon Wheeger: I just wanted to tell you that I thought a lot about what you said.
Jason Nesmith: It's okay, now listen...
Brandon Wheeger: But I want you to know that I'm not a complete brain case, okay? I understand completely that it's just a TV show. I know there's no beryllium sphere...
Jason Nesmith: Hold it.
Brandon Wheeger: no digital conveyor, no ship...
Jason Nesmith: Stop for a second, stop. It's all real.
Brandon Wheeger: Oh my God, I knew it. I knew it! I knew it!

In Bay City, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.

Starsky

Audiences don't know somebody sits down and writes a picture; they think the actors make it up as they go along.

Joe Gillis

Prince Akeem: So, you would share your bed, and your fortune, with a beautiful fool?
Semmi: That is the way it has always been with men of power. It is tradition.

Richard Brewer: When we finish this meal you little rodent, we're gonna go out in the yard and see who has the right to run this group of regulators.
Doc: Richard, would you be so kind as to pass the gravy please?

Navin R. Johnson: [outside now] And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
[Shithead growls at him]
Navin R. Johnson: I don't need my dog.

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