Mikey Abromowitz: They do it for the joy and the rapture and the slow-motion instant replay...
Reggie Belafonte: Say, why don't you go over to the snack bar and get yourself a big plate of shut up?

Wait a minute, Tom, don't get the President just yet. Maybe we should consider this a second. Dismissed, Tom. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to traing Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see to it that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain I remember reading that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking,Col. Markinson, that your suggestion of transferring Santiago, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!

Col. Jessep

Vanessa Wetherhold: You should really make your bed. It sets the tone for the day.
Chuck Wetherhold: But, how do you know what tone I was trying to set?

Ben Wade: Women will do things you'd never imagine.
Doc Potter: They'll give you a disease you'd never imagine.

You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.


Who loves ya, baby?


Officer: Do you have anything to say?
Alfred Borden: Abracadabra.

Fear is a four letter word ladies!

Sergeant Calhoun

Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Alan Garner

A drug dealer? No. Did he sell a little weed? Yeah.

Sonny Truelove

That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.


Fuck you and the horse you came in on.

Christine Collins

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